Kill/Dil (2014)

I thought there was no way I wouldn’t like this movie, seeing as how the cast list is basically a summary of my very most favorite Bollywood actors. So when the bad reviews came in, I was all “whatever, those people probably didn’t like Jhoom Barabar Jhoom either, so what do they know.” Then they were all “no, seriously, it doesn’t make any sense and Ranveer is awful” and I was all “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” and ordered the dvd anyway.

But yeah. It might have suffered from some unreasonably high expectations on my part, but I really didn’t enjoy it as much as I had hoped. The movie opens with Dev (Ranveer Singh) narrating his story to a video camera, because if there’s anything Yash Raj does better than tired references to more successful films, it’s having their characters explain themselves directly at the camera instead of showing us what happened. So we learn that Dev and Tutu (Ali Zafar) were rescued from the streets and raised by Bhaiyyaji (Govinda) who basically turns them into a cold-blooded killing team. They’ve known nothing else, so they’re quite charming about the whole thing, with big guns, big smiles, and endearing bromance.

And also shirtless Ali Zafar, because I am not exactly a high-brow sort of movie viewer.